I don't know what the fuck I'm doing anymore. My birthday is coming up soon, and I had never planned this far ahead, I wanted to be dead two years ago. Fuck. I planned on being dead two years ago. My best friend is no where in sight and I think...I don't know...I just feel sad, empty, and numb all at the same time. This was supposed to end when I went on meds. It was supposed to get better, I was supposed to be happy, I was supposed to be whole, now everything is falling apart and all I can do is watch everything I've ever loved be destroyed and given back to me in a box, saying here is your life now. Get used to it. I'm not sure if I can get